


names are important

by They_Call_Me_Asshole



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel Backstory (Supernatural), Dean buys cas a sex toy, Dean can be bad at flirting, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Panty Kink, Past Balthazar/Castiel (Supernatural), Power Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Size Kink, Top Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:34:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28830501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/They_Call_Me_Asshole/pseuds/They_Call_Me_Asshole
Summary: Main ship is destiel, this is like a early on in supernaural kind of? Like balthazar is still alive because I honestly forgot if he died or not but i dont want to rewatch supernatural but this plot has been stuck in my head.Cas needs some weapons help and remembers and old love of his, Balthazar. Dean and Sam discover some of Castiel's past and that he is actually pretty lonely and wants a boyfriend :pDean gets jelly and buys Cas a dildo 😇 because thats the appropriate responseIdk how long this'll be, not like 10 chapters maybe 5 or less
Relationships: Balthazar/Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 16





	1. rock-- stone-thingy

"Nice to see you, Cassie." The british accent was laced with confidence, one that used to make Cas shiver. Castiel slowly approached Balthazar, he had told Dean and Sam to stay behind but he was sure they'd barge in at any sign of a struggle. 

"Likewise." Castiel stood still now, they were a good distance away from each other. "I come asking for a favor." 

"Oh?" Balthazar took a step forward, a grin plastered on his face. Brown eyes meeting blue. 

"You are the best soldier I have ever fought alongside with in heaven. Before you...faked your death...I thought very highly of you." Balthazar another step and Castiel glanced behind them, but there was still no sign of the Winchesters. "I recognize that you know plenty of weapons, especially holy ones. I hoped you could assist me with identifying one." 

"You sure do know how to make a guy blush," Balthazar chuckled and ran a finger across Castiel's jaw, "what's in it for me?" 

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows; he hadn't thought about really giving anything to Balthazar in return for his services. He had assumed their past was enough to give him a freebie, as Dean might say. "Is there something you want?" 

"You don't have a bargain? A deal? Nothing? Lord, I'm glad you're an angel; you'd make an awful demon." Balthazar placed his hand onto Castiel's shoulder. He close enough for Castiel to hear his breathing. 

"I was just hoping you could help me without the," Castiel cleared his throat, "extra stuff." 

"A solid, you mean?" Balthazar toyed with Castiel's collar, making the blue-eyed angel's breath hitch. 

"Sure." Castiel mumbled. 

Balthazar let go, his eyes wandered to Cas' lips then back up. "You were always the pretty-boy angel, you are smart too but..." he grinned, "not that good at strategy. That was always my strong-suit." 

"Will you help me, or not?" Castiel finally snapped, to which Balthazar laughed louder. 

"I suppose I can, but first --" Balthazar snapped his fingers and suddenly Sam and Dean came tumbling into the room "I don't like spies, Castiel. You know this." 

Dean and Sam struggled to compose themselves but did so quickly, Dean was the first to speak. "Just making sure everything is A-okay." 

"Oh, I assure you, it was perfectly fine. It would have been better, had you not been here. Isn't that right," Balthazar took hold of Castiel's chin gently, "Cassie?" 

"Dean and Sam are only being good friends." Cas said sternly. Balthazar sighed heavily and turned to take a seat on his recliner. He signaled for the three visitors to sit down opposite to him on the couch, they did.

"So, where is the weapon?" 

"I have it." Castiel began but presented nothing yet. "I found it in my quarters."

"You visited heaven?" Balthazar interjected. 

"Yes. I needed to get a book for a case. I stumbled upon this," he pulled a stone from his pocket along with a piece of paper, "Lucifer left this to me before he was banished." To that, Dean and Sam were looking surprised. Balthazar too. 

"Lucifer?" Sam asked in a squeaky voice. 

Instead of Cas, Balthazar explained: "Lucifer is Castiel's brother. And not just 'brother' as in the polite term angels use for each other, but his actual brother. Alongside the other archangels Gabriel, Michael and Raphael." 

"How did we not know this?" Dean asked, slightly offended. 

Castiel sighed and answered: "i prefer to not think about it. Besides, I am here to discuss this weapon. All the note says is to 'use it wisely', but I don't know what 'it' is." 

Balthazar took hold of the stone, he rolled it around his palm slowly, and focused. His eyed widened in realization. "It's very powerful." They all stayed quiet to listen. "It can destroy universes...it's extremely dangerous, even moreso in the wrong hands." 

At that, Dean reached forward and snatched the stone away before handing it back to Castiel who tucked it back into his trench coat. Balthazar put on his best bitch-face. "Why would Lucifer give me this?" Castiel asked calmly. 

"He did like you best."

"He only taught me how to fight." Castiel said, mostly to sooth the confusion on the Winchesters' faces. 

Sabotaged by Balthazar, as always -- with his winning grin. "Ah, yes. Except, every time he brawled with you he also taught you his ideologies. He never wanted you to be a mindless soldier. He even hated me for trying to lean you towards being a follower." 

"You were hardly a follower. You faked your death." Castiel snapped angrily. 

"Are you still angry about that?" Balthazar stood up and placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder again, he caught Dean glaring so he decided to let the cat out of the bag. "I have apologized, yes? I know you were looking forward to our marriage --"

"Marriage?!" Dean spat as if the word were illegal. 

Castiel turned some shade of red. Balthazar cackled and walked farther from the trio, slightly intimidated by Dean. "Oh yes, Castiel and I were quite the couple." 

Sam's face was contorted into one of confusion, and...interest? "I just...can't imagine Cas having sex." 

Castiel nearly fainted when Balthazar said: "Oh! Be sure, I tapped that." He sent a wink Castiel's way making the angel stumble as he stood up in a hurry. "Quite the freak in the sheets, aren't you Castiel?" 

"Enough!" Cas couldn't decide on what to look at, his eyes darting which and what way. "Balthazar, we did not come here to exploit my sexual history. Thank you for your help with the weapon, but we must go now." Castiel stalked off to the door and left without looking back at Dean, Sam or Balthazar. 

"Freak in the sheets?" Dean repeated, asking for an elaboration of sorts. His interest peaked. 

"Like a cowboy." Balthazar smirked. "He sure likes riding... and hard." 

________

Dean kept glancing at Cas through the rearview mirror, what Balthazar had said couldn't be erased from his most prominent thoughts -- "like a cowboy"; fuck. Dean wasn't one to imagine his best friends having sex, but this was really something for the spank bank. He cringed inwardly at himself, he knew he actively tried to deny his feelings for Cas...but sometimes a guy can't help it. 

"We should probably hide this in the bunker," Sam suggested (referring to the stone), "if it's been undetected in heaven for so long; it'll be even safer in the bunker." 

"You're right. I'm sure we can ensure it's safety and discretion there. I'm confused as to why this even exists, but Balthazar is the best with heaven's weapons."

"I --" Dean waved his free hand, "I'm sorry. I know you guys are talking about the rock-- stone-thingy, but can we go back to Cas and Balthazar? I mean -- WOW." 

"Dean." Cas said sternly. "I would like drop this subject." 

"I want to side with Cas on this one, but it is a little bizarre." Sam turned his head to glance at Cas with a small smile. "You never talk about your past with us unless it's absolutely necessary, but you're our friend Cas. We should know more about you."

"Yeah, that and how you go cowboy. Let's explore that. Also, why Balthazar?" Dean's face was scrunched in wonder. 

Castiel heard Sam chuckle as he let out a sigh. "Balthazar and I were good friends when we were young. We fought together, at some point we developed feelings for each other. We planned on marrying, which isn't something many angels bother doing but I wanted children. To have offspring you must go through the whole bonding process. Before we could, though, he faked his death." Dean caught Castiel rolling his eyes.

"So he didn't want to marry you?" Sam asked carefully. 

"Maybe. We never really talked about it. He claims it was because he wanted to be free...so I assume some part of that was being free from me. Which is strange, because he's the one who always pestered me about being in a relationship and having sex -- not the other way around." Castiel was clearly irritated so Dean decided to lighten the conversation. 

"Don't worry Cas, I'm pretty sure you're better off without him. He seems like the small type-- if tou know what I mean." He winked at Cas through the mirror. Castiel chuckled and shook his head.

"He is actually...very well endowed." Castiel blushed and Sam howled with laughter, Dean looked appalled. 

"How much does size matter to you, Cas?" Sam teased.

"It matters greatly, to him." Said a british voice, the sudden newcomer made Dean swerve and he quickly had to rebalance the car. He and Sam were panting once the car was back on track, and Castiel was glaring at Balthazar who was grinning. 

"Don't do that!" Dean growled, angry at Balthazar for more than one reason. "What do you want?!" 

"I was just ensuring that you knew what to do with the stone." Balthazar shrugged as if nothing drastic had happened. 

"We will find a place for it." Castiel said, still glaring. 

"I can't take it off your hands--?" 

"No!" The trio said in unison. 

"Fine." He sighed. "I also did overhear you three talking about me. And Castiel," he turned to meet eyes with Cas, "I would like to discuss some things with you." 

"You were listening to us?" Dean growled. 

"My name was spoken, I am allowed to listen, it is my business." Balthazar glared. "So, Castiel..." he turned to Cas again, "do you think we could talk over dinner?" 

"Dinner?" Castiel repeated, baffled. 

"Yes. Tonight at seven? I can pick you up." Balthazar smiled. 

Breathlessly, Castiel said: "Okay." 

"Good. Delightful. Seven it is." Balthazar disappeared, Dean was sporting an angry expression and Sam was quite surprised but laughing. Castiel was in pure shock. 

________

"I just don't get how you can actually be going out with this guy!" Dean said for the upteenth time. Cas was straightening his tie and Sam was helping adjust his hair (I'm a pro at hair, Sam had said when he offered). 

"Dean," Cas sighed, "he just wants to talk. I have been wanting to clear things up with him for a long time, but never found the occasion to." 

"Come on! It's clear he just wants to get in your pants." Dean scoffed. "Sam, you have to be seeing this too right? What happened is: he saw you, got a boner, and wants to get down and dirty." 

"And all I want is to socialize a bit more." Castiel replied. To which Dean rolled his eyes. 

"'Socialize'? What do you mean? You have me and Sam. Aren't we enough?" 

"You're putting words in my mouth Dean, you know what I mean. You and Sam have other friends." 

"Oh, I'm sure you'll have more than words in your mouth tonight." Dean said with a tone laced with venom. He watched as Castiel went stiff. Dean felt the guilt pang against him, but he couldn't go back now, so he kept a hard face on. 

"Dude..." Sam said, surprised by Dean's rudeness. 

"I'm leaving." Castiel scoffed, walking towards the stairs. 

"See ya." Dean scoffed in return. When Castiel left with a slam of the door, Dean noticed Sam staring at him. "What?" He snapped and Sam shrugged while shaking his head. 

"Not cool, man. Not cool."

_________

The dinner had been eye-opening. Balthazar said his escape of heaven had not been an escape from Castiel. He said he had loved Castiel dearly, but he was tired of being a mindless soldier with no personality other than being in love with another angel -- which many angels thought was stupid. Leaving had hurt Balthazar too, not just Castiel. But he apologized for not telling Castiel his plan, it was unfair for him just to up and leave, as well as leave Castiel with the pain of the death of someone he cared about. 

Castiel forgave him, he had already forgiven him before he was just...annoyed for never having officially talked about it. They talked about old times, when they would hide away to kiss or whisper sweet compliments to each other. They discussed new interests, and laughed about their long-gone youth. 

They were washing the dishes when Balthazar snaked his arms around Cas' waist. Castiel leaned into the touch, and allowed Balthazar to gently place kisses behind his ear. Hands roamed down to Castiel's belt, and it was removed. Castiel turned around and pressed his lips against Balthazar's. They both were smiling giddily. Shirts were thrown about, and pants tugged away, before Balthazar lifted Cas onto the counter. Their foreheads pressed together when their hips were flush against each other. 

Balthazar was teasing at one of Castiel's stiff nipples, his other hand pumping up and down the blue-eyed angel's cock. Castiel was gasping, his head thrown back; he was lost in the pleasure when he moaned breathlessly: "Dean~!"

Both of them went stiff. Cas could feel Balthazar's heavy pants against his skin, and he could feel as the angel pulled away slowly because it got colder as he did. Castiel's eyes were wide in panic.

He was about to apologize, to explain, but Balthazar shook his head too quickly. "No, it's...it's okay. I understand. It's my own fault," he laughed bitterly, "all of heaven and hell knows the bond you share with Dean Winchester." 

"Balthazar, please, it was a mistake. Dean is upset with me, my head was preoccupied --"

"With his name while we were about to have sex?" Balthazar snapped, losing his calm briefly. He took a deep breath. "It's fine. I should have never let you go, I was foolish for ever doing so and now this is the consequence." 

"We can look past this." Castiel offered quietly. "Dean doesn't even reciprocate my feelings." 

Another bitter laugh from Balthazar, to Castiel's confusion. He watched Balthazar pinch the bridge of his nose in thought and frustration. "I need...space. Some time; to think." Balthazar couldn't meet Castiel's eyes.

"Okay." 

"Okay." 

____________

Cas hurried into the bunker, his eyes red but not yet crying. He stopped when he saw Sam and Dean drinking and lounging near the map table. Dean raised a curious brow and Sam looked visibly concerned. "Cas?" 

"What happened to you?" Dean asked quietly. Cas sighed, he thought about just leaving to his room, but he needed his friends. He took a seat and Sam slid him a beer. 

"I made a grave mistake." Castiel groaned. He expected some snarky comment from Dean, but instead when he looked up at the gunter he saw worry across his face.

"You can tell us anything, Cas." Sam assured, to which Castiel responded with a smile. 

"Thank you. It's...embarrassing but I feel like I want to talk about it. Balthazar and I were doing fine, and we got to the point where we were going to engage in...sexual intercourse." He looked briefly at Dean, who now had a stern look on his face. He looked away. "I got lost in the heat of things...and I may have said someone elses' name." Again, a glance at Dean before staring at the wall. 

"Ouch." Dean said with a fake hiss. "That's a punch to the ego." 

"How did Balthazar react?" Sam asked, ignoring Dean. 

Cas sighed. "He said he needed space." 

"Yeah, that one hurts Cas. Names are important to know in this sort of stuff. Trust me, I've been there." Dean chuckled, trying to bring some levity to the room. "It wasn't meant to be dude, clearly you want someone else." 

"Dean is kind of right," Sam added, "you would have hurt him more; had you started a relationship with him again but wanted someone else. It's good that he knows you're not one-hundred-percent into him early on, rather than later when you both could have developed something stronger." 

The angel nodded in agreement, the bigger picture is more comforting but he still felt awful. "Yes, you're right. I just...feel bad."

"Why don't you start up some Netflix in the man cave?" Dean suggested. "We can watch that stupid cartoon you like so much." 

"The Bee Movie?" Castiel asked, suddenly excited. 

"Yeah, man. Let's have a dude night. Sammy, you in?" 

Sam shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. I think I'll hit the hay. Have fun guys!" Sam stood up and bid them a goodnight. Dean shrugged and smiled at Castiel. 

"More fun for us."


	2. websites are good

He was all snuggled up in his designated recliner. He and Dean had created this space far before Sam had become aware of it. Here was where Dean showed Cas that one film about the two cowboys.

Dean sat down in his recliner, a bowl of chips on his lap. Every now and then he would lift the bowl with one hand and offer some to Cas, who would grab a handful and eat from there until Dean offered again. They were watching the Bee Movie, Dean didn't see why Cas liked it so much but it wasn't too painful to watch. He thought Seinfeld was funny in the show he was in with the Kramer dude. The movie was far cringier than the show, sure, but it was decent and it made Castiel happy. Halfway through the movie, Dean became bored and glanced over at Cas. 

"I'm sorry, by the way." Dean said abruptly. Cas looked up from the television to see Dean staring at him. Castiel leaned his head to the side, silently asking what Dean was referring to. "About the whole thing I said to you before you left. It was messed up...I guess I just didn't understand why you needed anyone else, you know?" 

"I understand, Dean." He sighed and lifted his legs up to sit criss-cross on the recliner. Dean was reminded briefly of hippie-Cas. "I suppose I jumped into that whole thing too. I just haven't been in a relationship in a while and...I miss it. I feel lonely, sometimes. You and Sam are great, and I appreciate our time together. What I mean is that I miss being with someone in a romantic manner." 

"Sex?" Dean tried to clarify with a knowing grin. Castiel laughed and shook his head. 

"That too; but the other things as well. Balthazar used to send me letters with poems when we were younger. He would surprise me with compliments when I was lacking them. Likewise, I enjoyed taking care of him when he was hurt and crafting him weapons. I miss that. Perhaps not him, entirely, but that feeling he gave me." He noticed Dean's expression fall, so to lighten the mood he added: "the sex is good too, though. I miss that." 

Dean chuckled softly and set the bowl down on the floor, he turned his body to face Cas. "Yeah, I get that. Sometimes I feel that way too, about Lisa. She was the closest I got to a real relationship." Castiel nodded in understanding. "You know, you could always try Grindr?" Dean suggested with a smirk. "Or Tindr, if you wanna try dating a girl." 

"I don't care much about gender, but I do like being...penetrated." Castiel stared at Dean who was blushing at Castiel's bluntness. "Besides, I think I want to have a connection with the person I'm having sex with." 

Dean pursed his lips. "Can I ask whose name you called with Balthazar?" 

"No." Castiel said sternly, to which Dean laughed. 

"Okay! Okay, so...in the meantime, to lighten the load..." Dean hummed in thought "maybe you should try some toys?" 

"Toys?" Castiel cocked his head to the side again. 

Dean went red. "Y-y'know!" He cleared his throat. "Sex toys. Dildos, vibrators, plugs. That kind of stuff." 

Castiel nodded slowly. "I wouldn't mind that. Where can I purchase them?" Dean stood up suddenly and signaled for Cas to follow him, he did. Dean hurried to his room and when Castiel entered he shut the door and locked it. "Dean?" Castiel said quietly. 

"Get my laptop." Dean ordered, Cas nodded and grabbed Dean's laptop from the desk. Dean jumped onto the bed and digged in his wallet for a card. "We can probably find a business website that can just send it to our PO box." 

"Websites are good." Castiel agreed as he sat next to Dean on the bed. Dean thanked him for the laptop, slid it over to his lap, and opened it. He looked up 'sex toys' and was quick to find a well reviewed store. He felt a bit overwhelmed with all of the options. 

"So uh..." Dean kept his eyes on the screen. "What size? I'm thinking we get you one without all the fancy stuff to start. But do you want, like, a specific size?" 

"Any size is fine." Castiel said quietly to which Dean lifted his gaze to give Cas the 'really?' look. Cas sighed. "I do prefer longer sizes...maybe five or six inches?" 

Dean couldn't help the shiver at the thought of Cas bouncing up and down a long dildo, sweating and flexing and -- "O-okay." He stuttered. "Thick?" 

Castiel nodded. Dean scrolled through the options until Castiel pointed at one. "That one looks like a good start." Dean nodded and clicked on it. He hurried to type in the card info to order it. Once it was ordered, Dean screen-shotted the order info, closed the site, and deleted his history. "Thank you, Dean." Cas said with his husky voice. Dean felt his "little Dean" spur awake. 

"Anytime!" He nearly squeaked. He heard Cas chuckle and felt Cas lean his head onto Dean's shoulder. They had done this before, but Dean couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the touch. He didn't say anything, though, because he was enjoying Cas' company. 

_______

After Castiel left to his room, Dean re-locked the door and tossed himself into bed. His face in his pillow and his hand snaking into his loose joggers. He was half-hard, he began stroking himself slowly. He closed his eyes and imagined Castiel in a cowboy hat and boots, chest glistening in sweat, thighs spread wide and flexing as he bounces up and down. Dean's forehead creased and his mouth opened into an 'O', drool sliding onto his pillow. His strokes getting faster until he came into pants. He groaned quietly. 

This was going to be a tough week. 

-

The next morning, Dean took a long look at his morning wood in the mirror. He felt like an idiot when he grabbed Sam's measuring tape and measured his dick. He was a little bit under six and half inches. Was that big enough? Too big? He bit his nails, what did it matter? It wasn't like Cas would want him.

-

Castiel picked up the dildo three days later. Dean would be lying if he said he didn't lurk around Cas' room when Cas was in there alone, he was trying to hear something. Sam would catch him sometimes, but Sam was unaware of Cas' new personal item. Nor did he know Dean was the one who bought it for Cas. On the second day that Cas had the dildo, Dean threw in the towel. He couldn't take not knowing. 

Suddenly when the trio were eating lunch, Dean asked: "Hey Cas, wanna see Tombstone tonight?" 

"Sure Dean." Castiel said with a smile. 

"That movie again? I guess I wouldn't mind." Sam added as he took a sip of his water, hiding a knowing smile when Dean turned to glare at him. 

"Nah, Sammy, it's a bro night." 

"I'm a bro," Sam snorted. 

"No, you're a nerd." Dean flung a french fry at Sam's head, who laughed before shaking his head. 

"Okay! Damn!"

__________

Dean didn't last ten minutes into the movie. He just really need to know. "Have you used it?" He asked quietly. He noticed through his peripherals that Castiel stopped chewing on his gummy bears. 

"Yes." Castiel replied in a whisper. 

"Does it...work?" 

"Would you like to try it?" Castiel asked with a grin, turning to face Dean in his criss-cross position. Dean turned to face him as well. 

"No," he smiled, "I just want to know if you like it." 

Castiel hummed and nodded in understanding. "I do. It's not like the real deal, but it serves it's purpose." 

Dean nodded too vigorously. They sat quietly for a moment before Cas turned back to face the screen, Dean stayed staring at Cas. Building up the courage to say: "i measured my dick." 

Okay! Fuck, that is NOT what he meant to say. Anything but that. How the hell does someone start a conversation that way? 

Castiel stiffened, he turned his head slowly to look at Dean. Dean noticed the confusion on Castiel's face, but the effort to refrain from showing too much emotion in fear of making Dean feel judged.

"Okay." Castiel said simply. Dean took a deep breath, he had room to start over. 

"I uh...I was curious, y'know, because Balthazar said you care about size." Dean shrugged. 

"So you're curious if I would like your...size?" Castiel looked even more confused at the insinuation. 

Dean went red. "Not that we would have sex! I was just wondering that...um..if we WERE to have sex, would you be okay with my size?" He laughed nervously, regretting having said anything. 

"Dean I already said--"

"I mean, how big was Balthazar?" Dean interrupted. "Like, if you were good with him, then anything bigger than him is good. Right? Or is there, like, a TOO big size?" At this point, Dean was just digging a deeper hole. He kept trying to save himself by talking but what he needed to do was stop. 

"I never measured Balthazar's penis." Castiel said bluntly, still confused. 

"Thought so!" Dean squeaked. "You know what? Just forget it!" He laughed again, his eyes in a panic. "Night Cas!"

Dean was standing up to leave, Castiel was beyond confused. "Aren't we going to finish the movie--?" He pointed towards the television. 

"Night!" Dean said again, leaving the room and Castiel alone.

__________

Luckily, living in such a large space gave Dean plenty of room to actively avoid Castiel. He would still greet him, sure, but he would ensure not to stick around long enough for Cas to initiate any sort of conversation. 

Castiel had been feeling extremely confused. Dean had been distant after their talk, and though he could understand why Dean was embarrassed for asking such intimate questions, Castiel really didn't think that his reaction was necessary. Castiel wasn't judging Dean, he was just wondering why Dean was interested in knowing that information. 

Poor Sam was stuck in the middle of all of this. He was either talking to Castiel about angel things, like how not all angels were related and how very few have children. How bondings worked and how garrisons were run. When he wasn't with Cas, he was with a very panicky Dean. Lately, Dean has been wanting to hang out with Sam way more than with Cas. Which wasn't too weird, except for the fact that Dean never pestered Sam this much. Hell, he even goes out with Sam on runs. To be fair, Dean doesn't run, but he goes out with him. Sam assumed that he does this to not be alone with Cas in the bunker. Whatever it is they need to discuss, he hopes they do it soon. 

It was about a week since they were acting strange that Balthazar showed up in the bunker. Dean and Sam were walking in from Sam's run, and they walked in on Balthazar pinching Castiel's cheek. Castiel swatted his arm away but smiled nonetheless. Dean felt his heart sink, were they going to try and make it work? 

"What's he doing here?" Dean said with more anger than he should have. Sam glanced back at Dean but said nothing. 

"Balthazar," Castiel chuckled, "came here to let me in on a joke." 

"I wasn't going to tell you, but I found out the background to the joke and it's just too good not to tell!" Balthazar waved his hand and signaled for the Winchesters to get closer. Dean and Sam hurried down the stairs. "The stone," Balthazar paused, "is just a rock. Lucifer gave Castiel a rock!"

"What?" Sam asked, baffled. 

"Apparently, Lucifer wanted me to throw it at Michael." Castiel laughed. "He used to say I was good at throwing." 

"So it's...just a rock? But you said--"

"I was messing with you." Balthazar snickered. "Do you really think, that a weapon to destroy universes would be in the shape of a rock?" 

Dean glared and mumbled: "I've seen crazier shit." 

"How did you find this out?" Sam asked. 

"I spoke to Gabriel. He told me he was in on it." Balthazar shrugged. "Castiel was always so serious. They thought they would get a kick out of watching him try and figure out what the note meant." 

"So are you done here?" Dean asked, desperate for Balthazar to leave. 

He sighed. "Sure, I suppose so. I will be leaving to Europe tomorrow, so you won't see me for a while. On that note," Balthazar patted Dean's cheek to which Dean swatted him away angrily, "I'm six inches." 

"Fuck you, I'm six and a half." Dean flipped him off, Balthazar cackled and disappeared. 

Sam was looking at Dean strangely and Castiel was holding back a laugh. Dean scoffed at both of them and walked away to the kitchen. 

___________


End file.
